Clinton "Defenses" - Group Effort

  1. "They all do it."
  2. "It's old news."
  3. "[Insert name of prominent conservative here] was much worse."
  4. "Can't we just move on?"
  5. "4 years and 40 million!" (Nevermind that Clinton's little Africa trip, for example, cost twice that and lasted about a week).
  6. "So what?"
  7. "Who cares?"
  8. "Rush is fat!" (therefore, the defense goes, "Clinton is innocent")
  9. "The economy is good."
  10. "It's all just about sex."
  11. "Did I mention that Rush is fat?" (Rush has lost 70 lbs.)
  12. "It's all part of a Vast Right Wing Conspiracy."
  13. Follow along now: a) Granny and Mama never got along; therefore, b) Clinton became a perjuring, draftdodging, rapist. Any questions?
  14. "It depends on what the meaning of IS, is."
  15. "Prove it!"
  16. "Kin Stah is the Devil."
  17. "If Hillary doesn't care, why should we?" (As if Hillary is the standard by which all right and wrong is to be judged.)
  18. "Reagan has alzheimers."
  19. "Newt has a new girlfriend."
  20. "Henry Hyde had an affair 30 years ago."
  21. "So did Bob Livingston."
  22. "Everyone golfs in the rain and darkness."
  23. "Bob Barr paid for an abortion."
  24. "[Insert name here] is just trying to sell a book."
  25. "Newt left his wife on her deathbed."
  26. "Monica is a stalker."
  27. "78 percent of all marriages have affairs."
  28. "Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah." (This is perhaps the most meaningful of the powerful Clinton "defenses". . . hahaha).

Got more? Send them to harleymom@harleymom.com

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02/08/01